Jaded Cynic and Unwitting Imperialist Part Three

Setting: JC and UI are talking about the occupation (oh sorry zell miller i meant, Liberation snicker snicker)


Unwitting Imperialist: Did you hear we’re finally gonna put down the terrorists in Fallujah!?


Jaded Cynic: And by put down you mean kill them all right?


UI: No no, we’re spreading freedom to them.


JC: which is a great euphemism for killing everything that moves.


UI: well Fallujah is like the last part of the Iraq Liberation, kinda like space is the final frontier of Man’s voyages.


JC: So you think this means we’re coming to the end of the war?


UI: Hell yah, Iraq will have democracy our troops will be back, then we can start brow beating people I deem to be “liberals”.


JC: You realize of course that this is just another effort at “modulating distress”, right?


UI: I don’t know what you mean so I’ll prepare myself for the anti-american speech.


JC: Well despite that same slander you stick to any individual who questions the answers those in power give us, this is not anti-american. Everyone in power(we can refer to these as the “elites”) is in power because they are good at a few things. The most important being manipulation. One of the subsets of manipulation is modulation of stress.


UI: get to the point


JC:OK so remember how America used to honor its fallen?


UI: what do you mean used to? I see people saying numbers on the news all the time.


JC: exactly…numbers, because thats all they get. Our current vice president, back when he was defense secretary banned pictures of the fallen being honored. This is so the people do not make the complete psychological connection between soldiers dying and a flag draped coffin being soaked in the tears of their respective familes.


UI: I don’t buy it


JC: well its not some conspiracy its pretty simple, to get a democracy to do something you can wait until a movement boils up from the bottom and gets to the top OR you can use your influence at the top to create a want in other people. This is called marketing, for example that Quadra air thing you bought from Sharper Image, you remember that?


UI: yah it works wonders


JC: haha, yah exactly. Well they lost a lawsuit because they couldn’t prove it did ANYTHING they claimed in the commercials. So you bought a product that when in court cannot prove it does ANYTHING, but for some reason you believe it does all kinds of things. Don’t think i’m immune I do the same thing, its just an important psychological heuristic we should all know about, but lemme get back to my point-


UI: yah seriously


JC:- This fallujah offensive first of all proceeded a day after the election, which makes it blatantly obvious that this war is not being fought with our soldiers lives and morale in mind AND without a THOUGHT to the hearts and minds of Iraqis. Instead this war is fought and plans are changed, because of Political considerations.


UI: Bullshit, hes commander in chief, he wouldn’t risk our american soldiers like that.


JC: FIrst of all, that person he obstructed from getting in to the texas air nat’l gaurd probably died in Vietnam, so don’t tell me he is compassionate or not elitist. Think about it man: no pictures of coffins, “mission accomplished” banner, “transfer of sovereignty”, Interim government, and now “the final battle”.


UI: Well I believe my leader and I think that Fallujah will represent the end of the Iraqi occupation.


JC: Listen dude, how long would you let your children live without electricty or sewage? How long would you put up with military checkpoints in your neighborhood? How long would you put up with the bombs falling around the clock?

How long would you put up with foreign soldiers in your fucking backyard!?

How long would you put up with FAMILY MEMBERS AND FREINDS DYING FROM MISSILES THAT FALL ARBITRARLY WHETHER OR NOT YOU RESIST THE OCCUPATION!!!???


UI: See you are anti-american


JC: No, that is where you and your jingoist buddies are wrong. We are the real americans, the ones Bolivar was talking about. The ones that want to see true democracy not coporatism(what Mussolini said Facism should be called) spread to other countries. As our texas fuhrer proceeds to strip us of the rights gauranteed to us by the constitution, we will have to destroy the current institutions of power. You’ll be there UI with the rest of us, it’ll just take a little longer for you guys to come around.


UI: you fuckers will get crushed like the warsaw uprising, haha, stage a revolution in the era or terror and cointelpro, you truly are an idealist.


JC: i’m not the only one, my freind, i’m not the only one. LIke I said earlier though, “Fallujah is to shock and awe as Stalingrad was to the blitzkrieg”.


UI: We are starting to look more and more like nazis


JC: thats the spirit haha. Check it out ok 9/11 killed 3,000 civilians right?


UI: right.


JC: we have killed 100,000 civilians in Iraq so far, so we cannot complain about the next 32, 9/11s.


UI: Those were disgusting acts SPECIFICALLY targeting civilians


JC: well despite the fact that we target civilians as well, its based on an assumption that democracy is our system of government. The truth is the elites control the civilians, so killing civilians didn’t do anything. The terrorists should start fighting the people we’re all fighting against, instead of arbitrarly blowing up buildings because of supposed symbolic meaning.


UI: Not only that but the evidence of responsibility for 9/11 always goes back to two places: Saudi Arabia and Pakistan’s ISI.


JC: well years from now, we’ll see what they put in the children’s history books, and one thing I gaurantee is that it won’t be the truth.

Jaded Cynic and Unwitting Imperialist Part Deux

A real quick post tonight was just thinking about taking a few points of logic, its kind of easier to portray it as my favorite two characters.

Setting: Two individuals sit in a living room, having their political agenda's set by the conditioning of the mass media. The report turns to the Iraq war...
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Unwitting Imperialist: Did you hear? There are some people in Iraq who aren't welcoming us as liberators!

Jaded Cynic: You didn't know there are people who dislike America in the middle east?

UI: I just figured the people in Iraq would dislike Saddam more than American soldiers.

JC: You're serious?

UI: Yes, it makes sense i mean.....he gassed his own people!

JC: Kind of like the DDT we sprayed all the people that looked asian that the US government could round up and lock in "internment" camps during World War II? Or the Agent Orange and napalm that effected American soldiers in Vietnam? Or the mysterious Gulf War syndrome? America has used chemical weapons on its own people many times shit, during the RNC they used gas on most of the protestors whether it was tear gas grenades or mace in the eyes it was unmistakably chemical warfare.

UI: But he massacred the people of Halabjah!

JC: Of course Halabjah had been overrun by Iranian forces so this was an act of war in the Iran-Iraq war so Saddam would have liked to see them die. The US wasn't sure who to support: Iran or Iraq, so it supported both...hell, that's the most profitable solution and profit is the only thing more sacred than democracy right? And Saddam wanted to see kurds dead. It would make sense that the US would send someone over right away to chastise Saddam for using chemical weapons right?

UI: I know, I know, they sent Rumsfeld over and he didn't say shit about the chemical weapons. In fact they mostly talked about "normalizing" relations. So essentially what Saddam did *thoughtful pause* helped relations with the United States.

JC: So there yah go that's one reason they may hate us worse than Saddam, because we helped usher in his reign of terror.

UI: We were told that we would be welcomed as liberators and when the statue fell I thought we were well on our way to winning the hearts and minds of the people. Instead we have a buncha terrorists running around.

JC: Did you say terrorists? If that is true then I guess I am pro-terrorist. Check this reasoning. *ahem* Our founding fathers wanted to create a country where there was no country, correct?

UI: yes...

JC: They fought violently and killed many soldiers as well as civilians who supported the British, correct?

UI: Yes...

JC: One of their main contentions and the fundamental reason behind the revolution and subsequent creation of a democratic-republic was "taxation without representation" correct?

UI: Yes? What's your point?

JC: In Iraq Bremer instituted a Flat tax on all citizens not only does this disproportionately shift the burden of supplying resources for the state to the lower classes. This is coupled with the fact that "the butcher" who is infamous for his brutality as prime minster (Allawi) was not elected by anyone and will not be elected for a long period of time. Is this not taxation without representation? the exact same cause our revolution was fought for?

UI: I guess the causes are the same..So what?

JC: Well this is where it gets interesting alright...If you are a patriot you support the declaration of independence, the constitution, and our revolution. If you do not believe in the cause of the American revolution then you do not have a strong belief in representative democracy.

UI: ok...

JC: OK so basically it is assumed that everyone in the United States supports the ideas behind our own revolution. If this is true all Americans logically support the insurgents within Iraq fighting the civil war, because they are being taxed without representation by an occupying foreign power. So to say the people who protest the war are "unamerican" is essentially the opposite of what is true...If one is truly "American" then one supports the ideals of our revolution: the declaration of independence and the United States constitution; then therefore you wish the Iraqi people the same right to self-determination as we have.

UI: So the end result?

JC: If we do support these rights we must stop taxing them without representation, hold elections, and get the hell out of their country.

UI: You got a little long-winded there, but I get the point...You're a hippy.

JC: Well looks like you resurrected another old catchphrase. The funny thing is both were probably invented by Nixon for McCarthy's house committee on unamerican activity and Nixon's favorite term for protestors: "hippies". Now individuals who aren't pacifists, but still believe war should be only fought in certain situations are stuck in the tiny space the media lets them be broadcast in, still portraying them all as anarchists and communists...or flippantly referring to them as "hippies"

UI: Well at least we'll win the war soon.

JC: are you serious? You talkin' about the occupation?

UI: Yes, Bush said he'll bring democracy as soon as there is peace. I heard the words come out of his mouth.

JC: Yet there will be no peace without democracy, and there will never be democracy as long as the country is ruled by a foreign military and their Saddam Jr.: Allawi

UI: Well the job of spreading freedom is hard.

JC: On that point I will agree with you buddy, spreading freedom IS hard, especially with the United States always working so hard against freedom in the name of progress or profit.

UI: Well its like Bush always implies: We *ARE* god's chosen people [flashes baiting grin]

JC: Yah because of Bush we'll be *chosen* for torture whenever captured from here to eternity, because of the grotesque actions our government, military, and private corporations carried out in that prison and many others.

UI: Everybody knows that if we hadn't invaded Iraq then Saddam would have been supreme ruler of the United States by now at the helm of his massive and high-tech army rolling through the United States as all the people bowed at his feet.

JC: Sometimes I think we both get so sarcastic its hard to tell if we're actually disagreeing.

UI: Yah I know I was just fuckin around everyone knows Saddam didn't have any WMD and his army was eviscerated in the first gulf war.

JC: What are we supposed to do? The supreme court will appoint him if we vote him outta office. He taught us our votes don't count in 2000 almost as well as he taught arab leaders that surviving in a world run by the United States with only conventional weapons is suicide, one needs WMD if they don't want to get "shock and awed". In fact our tactics of terror like Abu Ghraib(rape,torture, sodomy); Dasht Delile(mass graves in Afghanistan); and the many missiles aimed at civilian targets, may provoke another 9/11. Would you be surprised if Governor Bush Jr.'s foreign policy was the cause of another massive terrorist attack?

**Before UI can respond, a Mushroom Cloud takes form in the distance through the window.***
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