Sunday, December 03, 2006

The Jesus we know did not exist

All quotes are from the book “The Jesus Mysteries” by Timothy Freke and Peter Gandy
Its not so much that he didn’t exist, but most stories about him are in fact lies.
A lot of people have been talking about Jesus lately on GNN in various posts. Some people(a majority of Christians) think that the Old Testament and New Testament is not only canon, but meant to be taken literally. This gives rise to things like interpreting revelations as truthful prophecy and belief in completely unreasonable assertions. So I thought I’d set the record straight with a few quick quotes from a book I recently read through. You see it seems that Jesus may or may not have existed. One thing is for sure he was not immaculately conceived, that's right “Christians”, to conceive: a female must have their egg fertilized by a sperm. Who’da thought that in order to get pregnant, one must have an egg fertilized by a member of the same species and opposite sex. Strange that history if full of gods impregnating women. One of them is Zeus(hes the guy on the roof of the Sistine chapel[even though it is supposed to be Jesus’ supernatural father]). The demi-god is as old as conceptions of god.
Ok well lets say that you are in fact dumb enough to believe that a woman became pregnant without fucking. Lets move on to some other interesting historical facts.
What does this look like to you:
(There should be a fish here, but I have trouble putting graphics up here)
I have a suspicion that you said “Jesus fish”, when in actuality it is more accurately described as a Pythagoras fish. It is really just a symbol that is sacred to pagan(pythagorean and other belief systems) geometry. The ratio of height to length is 153:265 ”...a formula known to Archimedes in the third century BCE as ‘the measure of fish’. It is a powerful mathematical tool, being the nearest whole number approximation of the square root of three and the controlling ratio of the quilateral triangle.”
Lets look in to this whole “fish” thing a little more.
“In the Gospel of John, Jesus miraculously helps his disciples land a large catch of fish. This supernatural feat was also performed by Pythagoras in a legend recorded by Prophyry. Pythagoras miraculously predicted the exact number of fish that would be caught, but the story does not record what this number was. In the gospel account Jesus makes no such prediction, but we are told the catch numbers exactly 153 fish. This seems on the face of it to be an irrelevant fact that the gospel writer included just for dramatic color. But scholars have concluded that it is mentioned deliberately and is highly significant.It is likely that the number of fish Pythagoras predicted would be caught is precisely 153. The Pythagoreans were renowned for their knowledge of mathematics and regarded 153 as a sacred number. It is used in a mathematical ratio that Archimedes called ‘the measure of fish’ to produce the mystical symbol of the vesica piscis or ‘sign of the fish’—the intersection of two circles which yields a fish-like shape. This was an ancient Pythagorean symbol that was used by early Christians to represent their faith. The fact that this mystical fish symbol can be produced from the number of fish that were caught in the account of Jesus’ miracle strongly suggests it has been adapted from the original miracle of Pythagoras and that this miracle story encoded sacred geometrical formulae.”
So Pythagoras is one of the original God-men. He was said to be able to still wind and raise the dead. Still, what does that prove?
“Other of Jesus’ miracles were also attributed to the Pagan godman[Osiris-Dionysus]. Asclepius who was followed by Hippocrates, the ‘father of medicine’ was said to have cured the sick and raised the dead. He was known as the ‘lover of men’. A comparison between the wonders of Asclepius and the miracles of Jesus was a standard feature of Pagan anti-Christian writings. In reply, early Christians described Jesus as the physician greater than great Asclepius. The Pagan Celsus and the Christian Origen argued with equal conviction as to the relative merits of Asclepius savior or Jesus savior. Many of the inscriptions to Asclepius were taken over by early Christians by simply replacing his name with that of Jesus.Many of the great prophets of Osiris-Dionysis were renowned as wandering wonder-workers who performed exactly the same supernatural feats attributed to the wandering wonder-worker Jesus.”
Early christians basically plagiarized the lives of other godmen.

Dying and Resurrecting Godmen

“At the heart of the Mysteries were myths concerning a dying and resurrecting godman, who was known by many different names. In Egypt he was Osiris, in Greece Dionysus, in Asia Minor Attis, in Syria Adonis, in Italy Bacchus, in Persia Mithras. Fundamentally all these godmen are the same mythical being. As was the practice from as early as the third century BCE, in this book we will use the combined name Osiris-Dionysys to denote his universal and composite nature, and his particular names when referring to a specific mystery tradition.”
The specifics of Jesus birth, death, and resurrection are all plagiarized.
”-Osiris-Dionysus is God made flesh, the savior and ‘son of god’-His father is God and his mother is a mortal virgin-He is born in a cave or humble cowshed on December 25 before three shepherds-He offers his followers the chance to be born again through the rites of baptism-He miraculously turns water in to wine at a marriage ceremony-He rides triumphantly into town on a donkey while people wave palm leaves to honor him-He dies at Eastertime as a sacrifice for the sins of the world.-After his death he descends to hell, then on the third day he rises from the dead and ascends to heaven in glory.-His followers await his return as the judge during the Last Days-His death and resurrection are celebrated by a ritual meal of bread and wine, which symbolize his body and blood.”
Did you think they were talking about Jesus Christ/Jesus of Nazareth in that last paragraph?Guess what….they weren’t. Those things happened to godmen that existed BC(which stands for before Christ[which means before Jesus existed]).

Diabolical Mimicry

“Pagan critics of early Christianity, such as the satirist Celsus, complained that this recent religion was nothing more than a pale reflection of their own ancient teachings. Early ‘church fathers’ such as Justin Martyr, Tertullian, Irenaeus, were understandably disturbed and resorted to the desperate claim that these similarities were the result of diabolical mimicry. Using one of the most absurd arguments ever advanced, they accused the Devil of ‘plagiarism by anticipation,’ of deviously copying the true story of Jesus before it had actually happened in an attempt to mislead the gullible!...The obvious explanation is that as early Christianity became the dominant power in the previously Pagan world, popular motifs from Pagan mythology became grafted onto the biography of Jesus. This is a possibility that is even put forward by many Christian Theologians. The virgin birth, for example, is often regarded as an extraneous later addition ‘borrowed’ from Paganism in the same way that Pagan festivals were adopted as Christian saints’ days. This theory is common among those who go looking for the ‘real’ Jesus hidden under the weight of accumulated mythological debris.Attractive as it appears at first, to us this explanation seemed inadequate.”

They sum up the thesis of The Jesus Mysteries:

“The traditional version of history bequeathed to us by the authorities of the Roman Church is that Christianity developed from the teachings of a Jewish Messiah and that Gnosticism was a later deviation. What would happen, we wondered, if the picture were reversed and the Gnosticism viewed as the authentic Christianity, just as the Gnostics themselves claimed? Could it be that orthodox Christianity was a later deviation from Gnosticism and that Gnosticism was a synthesis of Judaism and the Pagan Mystery religion? This was the beginning of the Jesus Mysteries Thesis.”

Fight it for as long as you can “Christians”, but most likely your godman did not exist. In fact most likely he is just an amalgamation of godman archetypes assimilated in to an ancient Jewish culture.
I want to talk about the piece that I found the most interesting and that is “30 pieces of silver”.We all know that “30 pieces of silver” is what Judas get for betraying Jesus. Did you know that this was most likely stolen from Socrates? When Socrates was put on trial for corrupting the youth the judge said if he paid a fine he could live and get off with exile(similar to copping a plea). Socrates stated he would give 1 copper(or whatever tiny throw away denomination) just to be a smart ass and give the judge some shit. As it turns out one of Socrates’ disciples offered the court “30 pieces of silver” to save Socrates life. Although it was done with nothing but benevolence, this follower betrayed Socrates on a deep level. Because payment implied that he was guilty of something and would be perceived as recanting his beliefs. Is it coincidence that the New Testament has 30 pieces of silver?

I leave you with this quote from The Jesus Mysteries:

“The Jesus story does have all the hallmarks of a myth, so could it be that is exactly what it is? After all, no one has read the newly discovered Gnostic gospels and taken their fantastic stories as literally true; they are readily seen as myths. It is only familiarity and cultural prejudice that prevent us from seeing the New Testament gospels in the same light. If those gospels had also been lost to us and only recently discovered, who would read these tales for the first time and believe they were historical accounts of a man born of a virgin, who had walked on water and returned from the dead? Why should we consider the stories of Osiris, Dionysus, Adonis, Atis, Mithras, and the other Pagan Mystery saviors as fables, yet come across essentially the same story told in a Jewish context and believe it to be the biography of a carpenter from Bethlehem?”
Take a close look at this picture:
4th century amulet

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